


The Colour of my Despair is Red

by Taoniri



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Apocalypse, M/M, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-17 15:00:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16518716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taoniri/pseuds/Taoniri
Summary: They say the colours are venomous. But they are poisonous themselves. They kill before they could be touched. The venom that cured was not considered a medicine here, the death was better to them. He hated this. Koutarou hated that everybody thought like that. He could do nothing with it.orThe world in which Koutarou lived was never normal. Nor Koutarou was. But he must carry on, he must save his group. He knew this. He did this. Until one day.





	The Colour of my Despair is Red

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lovely Lily](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Lovely+Lily).



> PLEASE, DON'T READ THIS IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED EASILY.

 

The sand began to fall. 

 

***

 

“Watch it.” 

“Only one shot. Leader, you ready?” 

 

Koutarou aimed sharper. And then shot. 

 

Loud cry raised the unwanted attention. The blood from the horse-like animal flowed and then stopped. The whole pack directed towards Koutarou. 

 

He aimed and shot two more times. All hit the targets, but they healed too fast. Too fucking fast. The aura near animals intensified.

 

All eyes seemed to stare at Koutarou. 

 

“Leader, don’t mind. Do another one!” protector uncovered, shooting at one of the hearts of the wolf-like animal, though she knew it wouldn’t do anything to them. 

 

“Leader, shot em down!” their coverman left the ambush and shot without aiming to drag the attention of the pack. 

 

Koutarou shot one more time. The bullet went through the wolf-like, but it healed itself faster. Another shot. He missed. 

 

Clouds darkened. 

 

The part of the pack charged at coverman. He retreated fast. The killer followed from his cover. 

 

Another hunter and protector, who were nearby Koutarou at the start of the attack, followed the pack, vigorously shooting and shouting. Their retreat plant. If Koutarou failed. 

 

He stared blankly at the sight of the pack and his groupmates disappearing. Fuck. Fuck! 

 

It should have never gone like this, he should have killed it from the first attempt. They will survive the hunt, but now, will they survive today, without food? 

 

Koutarou wanted to scream. He threw the gun away. He ran. He didn’t know when the darkness will fall, but he didn’t care. 

 

He wanted to do something. He needed to do something, he needed to become better, to become worthy. 

 

The black clouds made it seem like it was the night. 

 

He stopped at the beginning of the furthest, the completely abandoned street. This is it. There.  

 

He strolled across the collapsed building. He needed to free his mind from the shit, he needed to hunt for pretty much anything edible he would stumble across. Koutarou loved this part of the city and street, in particular. Only the bravest (or the most desperate) ever went here. Too many animal hunters, high chance to get “infected”. Others feared. 

 

But did it make any difference? 

 

As if any other street or hunt was better. 

 

If it wasn’t for his mood swing he could have killed the horse-like. They could have gotten food, medicine. These thoughts were chasing him, they were destroying him, it was like an incurable and unexplainable disease for him. But talking about diseases, especially mental ones, was dangerous as fuck here, even to your groupmates. 

 

Koutarou rubbed his left ear. Sometimes he hated his circular silver earring, it really seemed out of place.

 

The clouds have changed. It was not sunny, not cloudy but something in-between. 

 

He saw a dear. Male. Large horns. Approximately 70 kg. He could get it to the base alone. How could he kill it… 

 

He left his gun. He blamed himself deeply for it. 

 

He crept up.

 

The knife. It will be difficult. He could throw into his lower leg and prevent him from running. Too risky. He could throw it to the neck. He must hit hard….

 

Then Koutarou saw a blink of red and the deer has fallen, dead. 

 

He needed a few seconds to realize what has happened. He instinctively moved to the deer, ready to fight off the other groups, if there were not too many of them. But there was nobody. At least nobody from the other group. To the left of the deer, near the end of his antlers, he saw  _ him _ . 

 

_ He  _ was… extraordinary. The world seemed really dull compared to  _ him _ . 

 

The edge of his ripped lightly-red garb swayed in the wind. 

 

For the second it seemed that the  _ he  _ was red. His entire body was red. But only for a moment. After his skin was beige, the most fucking beautiful black hair Koutarou has ever seen and the whitest, grey sagging shirt. 

 

_ He  _ moved swiftly.  _ He  _ approached and touched Koutarou’s head and gently brushed his hair. It felt so soothing, so comfortable and close.

 

“Take it. Your group will need it.” this person didn’t move his lips (or maybe it was an illusion?), yet Koutarou heard him so clearly. Koutarou blinked and the  _ he  _ vanished. 

 

“Wait!! What’s your name? How can I find you?!” He managed to scream into nothing after this blackout. He received no verbal reply, yet somehow he knew  _ he  _ was “Akaashi”. He also knew he must never find out the answer to the second question.

 

***

Half of the sand was gone. 

 

***

 

No matter what, but running with the deer for like 1-5 hours made his muscles ache like crazy. Or was it because of the other 100kg-one he carried, egh, some time ago? 

 

The sun was close to the rise, he must hurry. 

 

But that stranger… Akaashi.  _ He  _ was very familiar, for some reason. Koutarou must have seen  _ him _ , must have known  _ him  _ before, but his memory just blanked out. He sensed something from  _ him _ , something big, extraordinary, and … dear. 

 

He preferred to chase the thoughts away for a while. The others need this dear, the others need to eat. Maybe that hunt was not so good, but now he has food, maybe it will all be alright in the end! 

 

Wind enveloped him, making the run not so hot. Now it was midday. Again. 

 

The building where they live was quite close now. The skyscraper was quite cracked but was still was firm enough to live in. 

 

In the lowest floor there was a lot of blood. Koutarou sped up. The stairs were clean, only rarely a small blood drop was seen. 

 

Faster. He must go faster. 

 

At the top floor, he was encountered by lots of blood and shrieking. The light-haired guy laid on the floor, without moving, as his leg bled on the rags and the floor. His eyes constantly rolled back and he softened, only to return to normal when the doctor or theirs tried to help his leg. 

 

Some of the others tried to help the doctor, some tried to be on the watch, some did something else, but all of them constantly turned around to see the injured. One person just stood there, and turned his hands to the left and to the right, as if he wanted to help but didn’t know how. 

 

The general atmosphere required minimum intrusion or words. Koutarou carried the deer without wasting time talking. He cut off the limb, pieced it, accidentally cutting himself in the process. He threw away the unnecessary parts of the dear through the broken wall and put the rest of the meat in the kind of fridge. Some rainwater was already in the pot, so he began to cook the soup.

 

The sun was setting for a long time. Koutarou did not realize when his cooking was already boiling. He removed the fire, leaving the coal hot to keep their food warm. He did it slowly and carefully, but he felt out of place. 

 

The doctors managed to stop the blood flow of the coverman, who also stopped screaming. But the eyes of the injured were closed. He barely could move.

 

The nervous trembling passed across each member of the group. None of them knew what will happen to their best cover, nobody who what will happen to them like they never knew what happened to the “lost” ones.

 

Tired of listening to silence and fear, Koutarou poorer some soup in the bowl and placed it near injured one’s mouth, with the other hand holding his head and almost forcing him to drink. 

 

“Slowly. You must eat something to get better. You know how fucking much blood have you lost?” Koutarou gently poured soup in his mouth to make sure that he will not choke and would be able to drink. 

 

The soup flashed red in the light of the evening sun. They were ought to prepare for the night. 

 

The light-haired guy`s face now looked more red and human-like, compared to when Koutarou saw him as he arrived. He was getting better.

“It was that red guy, him, I swear! We were at the hunt, then I and him” - speaker pointed at the coverman - “separated and when I found him the red guy was behind him and he was bleeding!” Somebody from the group shouted and waved his hands as if to convince everybody, glancing on the others, his own hands or clothes. “I tried to do whatever I could. It is a miracle that we were so close to our place and that we were able to get the help!” 

 

Nobody bothered to shut him up. All five were silently staring at each other, glad that the coverman is alive. All five were waiting for the others, the other hunters and companions, who were on their way home, all were waiting for the yawning blankness that followed. 

 

“How is he?” killer showed from the dormitory, still wearing a blanket, resting against the doorframe and looking as sick as she was that morning.

 

“He will be alright. You should really go to sleep, you are still very weak.” the protector smiled and gently looked at her sick groupmate. “Su-.., soon everything will be alright. We will get the medicine and we all will be fine. But for now, go to sleep.” 

 

“Kh, khe… I am sure you will. Good hunt and let’s wake up tomorrow!” - the voice of the killer was very weak, as she barely stood. After she went back to the dorm.

 

“Let’s wake up tomorrow.” - the protector gently repeated, and the people there silently repeated after her. 

 

Some more coughing was heard in that room. Some voices, then coughing again. Then they all went silent. The doctor went there, perhaps to check on the other ill ones, to try to diagnose them, maybe to try to find how to help them. 

 

Koutarou thought how he still made it through each day. Koutarou about that stranger. It seemed like  _ he  _ was the answer. He really wanted to meet  _ him  _ again. 

 

*** 

 

“This one will be better!” the protector yelled as she ran along with the other two in the search for the prey.

 

“Egh. I fucking hope so.”

 

“Hey, hey, hey! Mokey, there is no way we are going to fail!”  

 

They tried to talk more, but it soon stopped because the wind hid their words. The clouds and the sun replaced each other very often. 

 

“Leader, here.” hunter-healer braked sharply and pointed somewhere to the left. 

 

The small pack of wolf-like. Tough to hunt, the best for medicine. 

 

“We could take one.” Koutarou took off his gun and prepared to attack.

 

The other two spread out and prepared to distract the animals as soon as. 

 

Koutarou shot. It hit directly in the jaw of one of the wolf-like. It howled in agony. The others in the pack prepared to charge. 

 

The shots started to air from both of the sides from the wolf-like pack. They hit them, but all the bullets flew away without even damaging the creatures. 

 

The injured animal ran towards Koutarou ready to kill. Koutarou looked in his eyes and shot. He hit. The dark mist went out from this injury and enveloped Koutarou. He was no longer visible. The fight between the other animals and people stopped.

 

After a while, a battle was over. The mist sparkled red and cleared. Koutarou was standing there, with his clothes more ripped, but unharmed.  

 

The remaining package of the wolves whined and hurried away. 

 

“You did amazing!” the protector waved as she approached the leader.

 

“Great job, leader” - the healer approached them from the other side. - “I need to watch both of you for the wounds.”

 

They chattered more while the healer checked them, happy that they finally could make the medicine. The protector had only a few scratches. Koutarou didn't even have a scratch, what surprised healer a lot, but he could do nothing with it. 

 

“I am heading for another hunt, we still need to increase our supplies. You should bring this,” - Koutarou pointed to their prey - “to the others. They need it as soon as possible.” 

 

“Should one of us come with you?” 

 

“No need. And both of you must carry it, so there is not much choice.” 

 

The other two nodded and headed home. Koutarou went somewhere. Somewhere very far from their building. 

 

***

 

The abandoned street was no different than the previous time Koutarou went there. Only that the stranger was not there. 

 

Something he could use for food was there. Some kind of a small animal. He hunted it down fast and started to head to the others.

 

Koutarou wanted to stay there a bit longer, he wanted to leave everything and search, he wanted to find any sign of the presence of  _ him _ .

 

He didn't see that stranger. He didn't see Akaashi,  

 

His head ached. What he should do? What he must do? What he can do? How? What if the others wouldn't get better? What if he would not be able to hunt? What will happen next?

 

***

 

When he returned, everyone was busy. The doctor was making the medicine, the healers were helping, some were cooking with the leftovers of the dear. 

 

The killer was feeding the injured coverman with some soup. He said that he wanted to do this because he felt guilty, so nobody argued. 

 

Koutarou brought the prey, ate something and went to sleep. 

 

He went on the hunt by himself on the next day. And the following. And the one after that. And the one after that. 

 

He was doing all he could for the whole week, but it was just not enough. He could not find  _ him _ . 

 

***

 

Koutarou threw upcoming piles or buildings, rocks and some kind of other shit away from him as he only stumbled across it. He wanted to rip hair out of his head, he wanted to rage, he wanted to tear himself and everybody apart to see  _ him _ . He wished that nobody would ever be able to see  _ him _ , to touch  _ him _ , but Koutarou. 

 

He wanted to snap, he wanted to break, he wanted to scream. He did not know why. Maybe to feel complete again, to feel a bit more emotionally stable, to feel “good” emotions, to feel more like himself, to actually feel like he is capable of something more than just hunting. All of this made him thirstier. His arms, his veins itched, his throat itched. It seemed like his blood itched too, pulsing into his head, and making it go round. He felt all of his muscles tense. He found himself struggling to breathe. 

 

In the midst of nowhere, he looked at himself. 

 

The wicked smile cracked across his face. Somewhere inside he felt the click. The next thing he knew was the soaking and weirdly pleasant pain in his lower body and in his hands. His arms felt tensed and weird, all his muscles seemed to ache as in agony and this weird pleasure lured his mind. Then the darkness. 

 

***

 

There was almost no sand left.

 

***

 

Inside himself, Koutarou felt an ominous presence, something, which sucked up his soul and returned it to him, but it was different now. He did not know what it was and was not sure he wanted to know. Then his brain hurt much more than anything ever before. It hurt with the never said aloud, but so clear “you should have never tried to meet me”. And after, Koutarou completely blacked out. 

 

***

 

He woke up to the soft something under his head, gentle stroking of his head, warm sunshine on his cheeks and weird, but good tickling in his head. 

 

He sat up. His body could not take it anymore and the blood rushed from his nose. He coughed, leaving a blood on his hands. He tried to stop it but only made it worse. 

 

“You put yourself through much already. You should rest”  the  _ he _ strokes Koutarou’s head, luring him back to sleep.  _ His  _ voice was lullabying. Koutarou heard a faint smile in that voice. The bleeding stopped.  _ He  _ sat near Koutarou, which made Koutarou realize - he was sleeping on  _ his _ legs.

 

“You.., you are him! I found you!” Koutarou softened for a moment and then shook the sleep from himself. Akaashi reminded him of someone, someone so dear, and lost a long time ago… Like a family, whose death he saw so young. 

 

“Koutarou, please, don’t shout.”  Akaashi was so still, and he sounded like silence and the maybe Koutarou imagined it, but he sounded concerned? 

 

Koutarou stared at him with excitement and question, but no fear was in his eyes. 

 

“We met before. You don’t remember it.”  Akaashi answered on never asked aloud question, leaving Koutarou with nothing but to continue to stare, mesmerized. 

 

They stared at it other for a while. It felt so soothing. Koutarou wanted for this to last forever. 

 

***

The hourglass broke. 

 

***

 

Koutarou felt Akaashi`s lips. He knew he did it, but he did not remember doing it. And he did not care to remember as long as he felt  _ him _ . As long as Akaashi did not break it. 

 

Koutarou felt Akashi’s hand on his head. He removed himself from  _ him _ for a second and glanced one more time.  _ His _ face was red under the hand of Koutarou; the glowing pomegranate colour eyes; the pointy ears held a beautiful earring with delicate flowers and vines, stretches from the top to the earlobe; the hair with the blood red… 

 

Koutarou kisses him one more time. He felt like his tongue, his lips, his innards burned. He felt like he wanted to devote himself to this person, to Akaashi; he felt like he wanted Akaashi all to himself, he wanted to make nobody even dare to take  _ him _ away. 

 

One more moment. One more second. One more instant. It felt so good. 

 

Koutarou felt the strong hand holding his chin, felt Akaashi was moving up, bringing his head to the sun, making him look up, and how he obeyed to it. He felt like Akaashi`s body was in front of him, how he stood there like a statue. He felt like Akaashi moved away from him, still holding his chin. 

 

He saw  _ his  _ face in the red of the sunset.  _ He _ was so beautiful. Koutarou could not stop staring at him, still sitting on the ground, unable to move because of the charm, which locked his body, his mind.

 

The gust of wind blew away some leaves and brushed against Bokuto’s cheek. The hand no longer was there. Nor the person. 

 

Koutarou heard some people shouting. Perhaps they were his group. He did not know. He sat still, blankly staring into nowhere. 

 

He felt the warm and sticky something flowing on his legs. Tik.

 

The people took him under the shoulder and almost carried him to the building while fighting against the strong and sudden wind. He dragged his feet behind. Some more people. Something white before his eyes. Somebody yelled. The stinging pain in his leg. It hurt so much. It made him close his eyes. 

 

He saw Akaashi.  _ He  _ did not smile, he did not look relaxed, or happy, but this image burned out on Koutarou’s eyelids and made him feel so happy, so relaxed. As long as he could see him it would be alright, as long as this image did not vanish, as long as his mind did not betray him. He could cope. He will cope. He must, for  _ Akaashi _ . Tak.

 

***

 

They left him alone after some while. Hour, maybe? Maybe more. Who knows and who cares anyway? 

 

His leg still hurt after they tried to stop the blood. The stitch was too vibrant and felt like a rope. A rope, which some time soon will tie around his neck. 

 

His bones were alright, though. Not broken, nothing. 

 

Nobody was near, so he pulled himself together and went up a few flours. Their main spot was on the top floors so nobody could get to them, especially at night, when they are the most vulnerable. But the healing stuff usually happens on the bottom floors so that the wounded would get the help as fast as possible. The floors in between were rarely used. Just cleaned up sometimes from the unwanted guests. 

 

Right now seclusion was the thing Koutarou wanted so much. Tik.

 

Up, almost at the very top Koutarou stopped and found some kind of a remote room, or something similar. He sat there, resting against the cracked concrete wall. Tak. 

 

Shit. 

 

He wanted to see Akaashi so badly, he wanted Akaashi so badly. Kotarou imagined how Akaashi looks,  _ his  _ thin and arrow-like fingers, with the tendons showing up;  _ his  _ hair the colour of the boiling darkness within Koutarou,  _ his  _ neck,  _ his  _ gunmetal blue, then green, eyes…  _ He  _ looked so good,  _ he  _ smelled so good…  

 

Koutarou slipped his hand down his jeans. This image of Akaashi was so bright, provoking, so ... aaaaahh.  He jerked to this image of Akaashi, unable to think, but it felt so good, so good… Just the image made Koutarou breath so deep, so roughly. He wanted to scream  _ his  _ name, he wanted to touch  _ him _ , to breath  _ him _ . His whole body trembled. 

 

He cumed fast. It felt like bliss. No. Better than a bliss. 

 

His hand was covered in the cum. Sticky and messy. He cleaned it up how he could and just sat there, breathing. Tik.

 

He was not sure why he lived, why he was born, or anything like that. Almost since he was born he thought about surviving. Then the group, the stuff. They shared the earring in left ear to recognise each other. Sometimes it was the only thing they shared. This fucking circle of a ring. Circle of running, hunting, eating, hiding and mourning over those, who have not returned. They never will. It is just a rule here. No one can survive the night alone. Even if they could, they would no longer want to survive. There are things scarier than death. 

 

Now, if anything, Koutarou wanted to protect Akaashi from this things. Even if it meant he must live. Tak.

 

These thoughts made his head ache with the sudden rush of the memories he never wanted to have back. He put himself flat on the floor and fell asleep. 

 

He dreamed something. Something nice. It felt funny and even cosy. Then there was this boy. He cried and the blood of his tears fell down his burned cheeks. He screamed so loudly. He left the blood stains on everything he touched. Then there was nothing again. Just blankness. No colours, no feelings. 

 

***

He woke up to evening. Dangerous. He went upstairs to the others, at least to be safe for the night. The next light might bring something new so he might need to prepare for it. Tik.

 

His groupmates. A lot of them were already fast asleep. Some of them still made some preparations for tomorrow, and the future days, a couple of them were on the watch. Koutarou pointed to the earring to them, so they would not kill him on accident, and went onwards to the sleeping area. As he passed those who did not sleep, he counted who still was there. The doctor, some other hunters, the protectors of the place and the gatherers (of food and stuff, like wood). Coverman was sleeping very near to the doctor and the fire they set. His leg still looked like a weird, scar-y stick, but he was human-like, alive. He should cope. Everybody seemed to be less tense in the light of the dim, warm fire they made there.

 

Koutarou exchange glances with the doctor. He shook his head. Coverman was sleeping till now and woke up only to eat once in a day or two. It was not good, they were not expecting this. But at least his chest was still rising and falling as he breathed, he was still alive.

Koutarou nodded to them and was heading to the sleeping area. Overall 8. Not enough. Maybe there were more sleeping though? 

 

As he walked, he saw another figure he did not count before. Somebody was hidden in the dark and because of the fire it was hard to see him there, but from this angle something flashed into eyes and made his presence obvious. That guy, who went with injured-and-now-sleeping then, the killer. So 9. Not all, but better already. Any person could make a huge difference. Tak. 

 

He went to the dorm. Some of the others were also there. Some were already fast asleep. Some were forever asleep. They could find it out only the next day. Tik. 

 

“Hey, don't you wanna join us? It is getting late and your leg looks like his best concoction.” the protector, who was in the big hunt, turned to Koutarou from the dorm with the critter smile of her, elbowing the shorty sitting next to her. 

 

“What the fuck, girl?! I am not to be blamed for my cooking! It is not my fault you like the good food! My concoction looked editable!” their second coverman made the “the fuck?” expression as he swung his hands.  

 

“Are you implying that we should eat leader’s leg because it looks just as editable as your food?” The girl half-turned to the guy, asking almost naively. 

 

“No, I am not!” What’s wrong with you?” 

 

“The Foood!” Koutarou`s eyes blazed as his hands went “I like food a lot”.  

 

“You didn't say like that when your cooking burned and we all had something inorganic for the meal”,  coverman looked offended, as he sat leaning on his hands and his legs covered in the thing-y he used as a blanket.

 

“I must have been better than that.” Koutarou crossed his arms.

 

“We literary threw it from the wall out while you did not see, it was impossible to eat.” somebody gave the voice from the actual blanket and went back to sleep. 

 

“Lier”, Koutarou lowered his head and moved to the direction of the sound. Tik.

 

“That was not that bad!”, the killer, who stood near the arguing two, brought her fists up to her chest. “And most time your cooking is good!” 

 

“That is true.” the deep voice made everybody turn to the doorway, as one of the hunters slid in, ready to sleep.

 

“Like the time you saved the life to the other coverman”, the hunter-healer, who was with Koutarou during the big hunt, decided to voice out, looking especially angry at the coverman, who realised his mistake soon enough and now was more concerned then offended. 

 

“Hooray for the good food!”, the killer stretched her arms to the sides in a cheering manner.

“Hooray, Hooray!” The coverman, healer, killer and the protectors screamed, which made Koutarou laugh triumphantly. 

 

“ Fuuuuuckeeeeers” another person was woken up by them. “Go to sleeeeep. Or you all are going to be the dinner for the animals, or any other fucke, tomorrow.”  He hid again behind the blanket-ish thingy and just fell asleep immediately. Nobody blamed him, the killers have the worst deal here after all. 

 

“We are not. We are amazing. I am going to save us all.”  Koutarou raised his fists up all excited. 

 

“Though you all really should go to sleep. Tomorrow will be tough, so you all need to be rested. Even, you, Yu-u Ms Smiley. And it does not matter that you are a protector, you still will have a lot of work.” The killer watched over everybody, then again on the other girl, and started to head out for her shift. 

 

“Okay, okay, let's wake up tomorrow.” 

“Let's wake up tomorrow”, - everybody repeated after the protector.

 

“I am going to the watch too. Had enough of sleep already”, Koutarou informed the others, as he headed to the doorway and the fire. Tak. 

 

He did not hear a reply, but rather a loud snoring coming from there. Those kids are sure fast to sleep. 

 

***

 

The fire seemed so bright it even made the moon look orange. Or maybe the colour orange was born today. Tik. 

 

The doctor was asleep near the fire, besides injured coverman, the others watched the fire, or just warmed up a bit there. The night was cold and was getting even colder. The killer-girl was there too. 

 

The fire though. It was so warm. Almost seductively warm. It made people around it forget about the cold around, the darkness around, or the darkness, which was before it. Each of the flames was rising and falling, brighter and dimmer, yellow, orange, blue, red. 

 

Tak. 

 

Koutarou stared at the fire. He was completely hypnotised by it. 

 

Tik. 

 

The flames.    
  


Tak. 

 

The moon.

Tik. 

 

The group.    
  


Tak.

 

Tik. Tak.

 

Tik. Tak. Tik. Tak. Tik. Tak. 

 

The clock.    
  


Fucking clock. It gunned in his head so loudly. He wanted to do something, he wanted to do anything, only to make it stop. He could see nothing, he could hear nothing but this fucking sound. Worse than any alarm at 5 when you went to sleep at 4. Worse than anything. 

  
Koutarou walked. He vaguely remembered seeing the exit from the last floor. He did not remember seeing any protectors guarding it, he did not remember any light on the stairs. But he saw everything clearly as if it glowed… with red. Blood. 

 

He ran down. Each tick in his head was accompanied with the dull hit. It knocked out any thoughts from his head, knocked out any other feeling. Everything, but a thing.  _ Him _ .

 

He realized the even deeper black inside the blackness and darkness of the building. He headed there. The silent voice he heard contained ever more blood, it was even more murderous than anything be saw or heard before. 

 

“Finally, I lured you out, so I can revenge them! Now you…! “ the walls talked to Koutarou, they resonated the voice, which Koutarou heard and never heard before.

 

He saw the back of the head of black haired somebody. He saw how his hand held something metallic to the red neck, pressing the person to the wall. 

 

No.

 

No.

 

No! 

  
  


There was the silent clicking of the metal on the concrete. Koutarou didn’t feel his knuckles bleeding. He didn’t feel the pain when his knuckles met the face of that fucker again, and again, and again, and again. 

 

His hands choke that persons against the wall, Koutarou’s fingers almost touching his second, his circular earring. 

 

“No! He is the disease! He caused this all!” This person tried to untie Koutarou’s hands from his neck. 

 

No. What is he talking about? 

 

No. 

 

Shut your trap.

 

Shut. Up. 

 

The voice that came out the body was eaten by the silence in Koutarou`s head. Then the body became still. 

 

Motionless it fell on the floor with a dull hit, followed by the sound of glass bouncing and hard liquid being spilt. 

 

Koutarou panted. His eyes burned red. He turned to Akaashi.

 

Akaashi stepped forward and cupped his face. 

 

“You want me so much?” His eyes glowed, burning to the soul, his fingers seemed to reach Koutarou’ innards, caging everything in him, making him rely on Akaashi to stay up. “Then so be it! My name is Keiji, the cure. From now and on your name will be Bokuto, the horned owl, and you will follow me wherever I will go!” 

 

Bokuto felt his body growing weaker and then he fell directly on Akaashi. His lingering mind knew that no longer they can stay here. 

 

***

 

Something soft under his head. He felt his hair being turned. He felt like his left ear was smelting, the vines of burning pain stretched out, somewhere creating the wider shape, somewhere making whirls, and to the top of his ear, where the sharp ends met. He opened his eyes to see Akaashi`s earrings, both sharp and beautiful, with patterns which felt so dear; Bokuto saw his own hand, red and with lots of scratches. He wanted to touch the earring with this pattern on Akaashi, but his body did not obey him. 

  
  


Koutarou’s last shot with a gun will be here. He knew it as his mind betrayed him. 

  
  


Then, he saw the end. 

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I have realised that some moments are quite confusing, so if you don't understand anything, please, feel free to ask in the comments and I will try to answer.  
> I don't really want to edit this, at least right now, but maybe a bit later
> 
> What Bokuto has in this fanfic is like a disease, but it is present only in the frames of this story. It is not based on something in real life. 
> 
> In reality, there are a lot more characters than I have mentioned in the description. I tried to clue who is who, but I did not mention their names, so I did not put them. The names are not mentioned because it is believed that the knowledge of somebodies name can give a lot of power. So only the dearest people know each others name. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it :3


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